Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
it's like iHOP with fire
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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