When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You were trust falling into bushes
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