I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I just blew my weed a kiss
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
