there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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