Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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