can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
