Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
