So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
