Where did you get a picture of my penis
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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