I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize
