Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She bit a glass in half.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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