I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
