Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Randomize
