My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
