I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I looked at my own cervix.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
