I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
