i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
