just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
