Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
