we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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