Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Well I just put wine in my tea
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
