I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
