u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
