If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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