a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
