i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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