Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
