He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize