dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
