You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
