I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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