For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
please don't ironically join a cult
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