Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
