That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
