So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
