I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
