also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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