Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
