I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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