He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
