i think my tv is drunk
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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