with your own penis?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
