You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
