3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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