I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
