About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
this hospital has no fireball
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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