I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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