Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
