she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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