You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
