Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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