i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize