Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
