OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
