Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
