Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
