you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
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