hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Randomize
