Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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