I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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