Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he shaved USA in his pubs
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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