Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
