Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
