pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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