Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize