Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
