Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
