he shaved USA in his pubs
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
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