i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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