My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
