she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
