You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
