is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
