Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
