dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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