They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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