New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
